Archive for May, 2009

Jamie, this is for you

May 26, 2009


I know you’re out there somewhere, and you’re mad as hell about California’s decision to uphold Prop H8. I wanted my first post to you following your passing on to be something sweet. But I haven’t had the emotional strength to sit down and do it. Now I’m mad. So i’m using this strength today as you’d want me to. To protest something that was one of your biggest causes, the rights for everyone to marry. 

I’ll be hitting the streets at 7pm tonight in Chicago. Anyone reading this today, please make sure you check to see where yours is, California or not. This will not be pretty, I’ll tell you that. 

From Day of Decision

Pro-Gay Activists in Over 100 Cities
To Protest California Court Decision
On Prop 8 Tonight

Tuesday, May 26, 2009 — With the California Supreme Court’s decision minutes ago upholding that state’s anti-gay Proposition 8, pro-gay activists in at least 108 cities have vowed to react with angry protests tonight to denounce they see as the brazen taking away of their equal rights.

While the court’s decision preserved the 18,000 same-sex marriages already performed, the main point of contention, the anti-gay Prop 8, was upheld, and therefore gay activists will respond tonight with protests.

Day of Decision co-founder Robin Tyler and her wife, Diane Olson, were the first and only couple married on June 16, 2008 in Los Angeles County. They married during the months after the California Supreme Court embraced same-sex marriage rights and before Proposition 8 cut off that right. They were the first plaintiffs in the suit which brought about the original court decision and were co-plaintiffs in the suit just decided by the court today.

“Even though our marriage is preserved by today’s decision, we take no joy in the fact that marriage equality for almost everyone else has been removed from our state,” said Tyler. “The upholding of Proposition 8 by the court is a cowardly retreat from the pro-equality stance it took last year, and makes our state a laggard behind pro-equality states like Iowa and most New England states.”

Andy Thayer, Day of Decision’s other co-founder, is also co-founder of the Gay Liberation Network and recently received widespread news coverage for his arrest with 30 others while participating in a Gay Pride protest in Moscow, Russia.

After tonight’s protests Tyler and Thayer see the next step for gay equality to be repeal of the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) signed into law by President Clinton in 1996. DOMA prevents same-sex couples in even the marriage equality states from accessing federal benefits that their heterosexual peers take for granted.

Most critically, DOMA allows non-marriage equality states to directly flout the U.S. Constitution’s “full faith and credit clause” under which contracts made in one state cannot be invalidated in others. Currently states that have, say, higher ages for legal heterosexual marriage are required to observe “underage” marriages performed in other states, but DOMA allows states to flout this same requirement for gay people.

“Many civil rights struggles historically have started with a state-by-state strategy to begin with, but at a certain point they must break out of that localism and take things onto the national stage if they are to be successful,” said Tyler. “By taking on DOMA, the lynchpin of federal anti-gay policy, we will be doing that.”

“The Democrats control both houses of Congress and the Presidency,” said Thayer. “They gave us the anti-gay Defense of Marriage Act in 1996, and now it’s their responsibility to clean up their mess, and we will do all in our power to force them to do so.”

“If President Obama does not repeal DOMA and DontAsk,DontTell, both of which he promised our community while running for President, the only gay Divorce you will see, for those of us who supported him, is the gay community’s divorce from the Democratic Party,” adds Tyler.

A full listing of tonight’s actions in over 100 cities in the U.S. and Canada can be found at


Links for friends

May 14, 2009


Our friend Joe asked we post a link to Jamie’s Memories page on Facebook. We’ll be selecting some notes to read this weekend. Please contribute any thoughts, stories, or pics you might have to the wall.

And I’ve posted all the best pics from Jamie’s last days with us. We had a wonderful time.

Thanks to everyone

May 13, 2009

Hi Everyone,

As you know by now, our dear Jamie passed away this past Sunday from a blood clot in her leg that travelled to her heart or lungs according to the doctors and pending a full report. I know details have been sketchy but its been very hard for friends and family to discuss publicly and we’re just going on a diagnosis from the doctor.

There’s no way to prepare for a loss of a beautiful 32 year old woman. She was loved by her husband, family, friends and fans of her writing. As a tribute, I’ve decided to keep doing the blog for now as a way to still talk to her as has been the format since day one. I know she’d want me to. I’d encourage everyone to comment with their letters to Jamie as well. I know in my heart, she’ll get the messages.

If you’d like more info on Jamie please go to her tribute page on facebook by searching on Jamie Dyer Dordek. I will also be posting a series of photos of from the day we got to spend together before the tragedy. Those will be on my FB page. There’s a few on the tribute page right now. More to come.

Signing off for now. Will post when I can get this in some perspective.

Jamie, you are loved beyond any comprehension and there’s a hole in our world now which cannot be filled.

Your friend forever,


Too big for Twitter…

May 5, 2009

Hi Jamie,

Tomorrow’s the day. I’ll actually be going ORD to LAX. And what a week we’ll have! I’m in that mood where I can’t sleep because so excited. So, I have a few things to get off my chest. Too big for Twitter, just right for ORD to LAX.

1. Media, stop paying attention to Heidi and Spencer. I put up with the age of faux celebs like Shauna Moakler and Paris Hilton. They have there own charm, and have faded. But I’m repulsed by news media who half make fun of Spidey and half show every photo of them they pose for. Every moment of their fake love is staged by an intricate web of pap phone tree calls. Do you not get it, media? You’re being taken for a ride by them, and the belief that America cares. No one cares. No one. Find me one fan. I dare you. So just stop it and they’ll go away. I hate them so much, they not only don’t get a link, but no pic as well. Here’s a photo of fighting kittens instead. kittens...fighting


Sweet sweet Mead

May 2, 2009

Hi Jamie,


I know you’re overseas right now, so you might not read this till about the time I’m in LA next week, but I just had to tell you I’m having a David Mead day. I don’t know if its because it’s a perfect Chicago Saturday afternoon and his music just flows over your mind like a ray of sunshine, or because he’s sort of “our” guy, but I’m loving him from back to front today. 

Remember how we came across him? Picture it. Schuba’s. 1999. Chicago. I still remember fondly when you and I worked together for Borders Events and Marketing, and Randy at BMG asked us to help out their newest artist David Mead. We didn’t know who he as but as soon as we saw he was a cute red-head with pop rock chops, we were on board! I still have the David Mead/Mead notebook style promotional CD for his debut The Luxury of Time