I WILL Cut Your Face.

by

Marc,

razor_blade2You’re right, I would have lost my mind.  Lost it.  You’re lucky I wasn’t there because the shock of seeing me run fast enough (in heels) to catch that SUV would have given you a fucking heart attack.

Words are powerful.  They might just be sounds coming out of our mouths, but everything we say means something.  We’re all guilty of being careless with language from time to time.  I’ve done it.  You’ve done it.  With words we have the ability to hurt people without intending to, without thinking about it.  The thought of that is bad enough to make me want to keep my mouth shut (which is saying something).  What that man did last night is a thousand times worse.  He thought about it.  He dug deep into his tiny pea brain and found a word to use that he knew would hurt.  A humiliating word he could wield from inside the safety of his car.  Which makes him a simpleton and a coward.

You are so correct.  He’s probably a shit for brains limp dick far south suburbanite with $70,000 debt on his trailer and no job.  His wife stopped putting out after two years of marriage (at the ripe age of 20) and he’s sick of getting comfort from his dog.  Which is why he was in Boystown in the first place. I’m sure he’d just spent a solid four hours sitting on a stool at Cell Block wondering why nobody wanted a crack at him. I’ll save you the trouble for next time, asshat.  It’s because you’re a sorry excuse for a man. Anyone who would yell a slur out of their moving car at the warmest, sweetest, manliest man I know (who was simply showing a friend some affection) clearly has the kind of sexual disfunction that we should pity you for.  On the off chance you are one of Marc’s neighbors, I’m putting you on notice.  The idea that I will ever find out who you are is slim, but if we should meet in a dark alley, you had better think of something more creative than”faggot” to defend yourself.  Because while Marc’s other friends are ripped and fierce, I am a fucking force to be reckoned with and I will cut your face.

XO

Jamie

P.S.  I’ll tell you what.  I’ll make all this up to you.  Next time I’m in Chicago, we’ll get into my rental car, drive to Lincoln Park and scream, “BREEDERS” at all the Trixies and Frat Boys leaving John Barleycorn.  That’ll make us feel better.

P.S.S. I am a bitch.  So are you.  You can call me that all you want.

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5 Responses to “I WILL Cut Your Face.”

  1. m000se Says:

    that made me smile. i adore being defended.
    i just keep thinking, you’ve had your whole life to think of something creative to yell at homos out your window and Fucking Faggots is teh best you can do?? “Yes, I know” thanks. but its the thought behind it that hurts.

  2. Jamie Says:

    Listen, I sort of know how it feels.

    Really, you’re going to call me fat? That’s the best derogatory thing you can come up with? OOOOOH, that’s scary. I do have a mirror dip shit.

    Even though it’s ignorant and lame, it still hurts.

  3. Katharine Says:

    Dear Jamie: Remind me to never, ever, ever piss you off.

    Marc: People suck, and I’m sorry. You are awesomely lucky to have the kind of friend who would dig out the razor blades for you. (And probably just awesome.)

  4. Chris Says:

    Jamie,

    I’ve never met you, hell I’ve only met marc a couple of times, but I read this and I can tell you I love you 😀

    Hope to actually meet you one day!

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