Re: Seven Things About Me


Hey Jamie,

Great post. I guess I have no choice but to respond with 7 things you may or may not know about me, Marc edition. Though, I’m betting you know most of this as I knew most of those things about you (except the sock thing!)

1. I tell people I’m allergic to Miracle Whip. miracle-whip1 No, its not mayo, and I love mayo. It’s Miracle Whip. The miracle is the people think this horrid spread enhances food flavor when in reality it could mask the flavor of pig shit.  I’m pretty sure this stuff was created in Satan’s test kitchen. And don’t try to sneak it in on me. I’ll catch it every time. There’s nothing more rude than a deli thinking they can use this spooge to make Tuna or Chicken Salad. I will send it back. 

2. I’m not book smart. Never have been. Never had much interested in structured learning so school was tough for me. I could always manage B’s, some C’s and the occasional A, even though all tests pointed to something greater. Maybe it was undiagnosed ADHD or something, but school never worked for me. Work was always where my attention went. I’d had a job since the age of 11 starting with a paper route up till present day. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m smart. Give me most any job, and I’ll not only figure out how to do it quickly, but figure out how I can be the best at it. Just don’t expect me to take any classes regarding it. 

3. I was a metal head, then goth. So, I wasn’t hardcore about it. I never understood what drag queens call “Living the Look” or walking around in full drag 24-7. It all started with a bit of Scorpions and Def Leppard which were gateways to Iron Maiden, Motorhead, and ‘Priest. rob is gay The finale was seeing Iron Maiden at the Keil for the Somewhere In Time tour and seeing someone do coke (and then vomit) right in front of me. After that, I came out, moved into the city, made college friends and discovered the thinking man’s metal (no, not Queensryche, though I still love them) Goth/Industrial. At the time, all the gay clubs in St. Louis were hot for Belgian techno and Industrial: Thrill Kill Kult, Front 242, Lords of Acid, etc. Which then lead into darker things…Sisters of Mercy, Neubauten, Bauhaus, DCD, etc. I donned allot of black, put on eyeliner, smoked and drank buckets of coffee. But never was able to submerge my personality into the depths of the lifestyle. Why on earth would anyone rebel against the established pop norms only to conform to a different expectation?? I never got that. I lived it best I could, while still being me. I didn’t need a costume. I was pretty good with who I was. 

4. Plants die in my presence. Even though I farmed most of my youth and currently own a farm with my family, I do not have a green thumb. I have a sixth sense with animals, but plants and me don’t get along. Give me a house plant, and I will kill it. Always has been that way. My grandma bought me a cactus when I was a boy, and I had that thing for probably 7 years. And not one day of its life did it not have fungus, or rot, or some sort of ugliness.  I mean, how hard is it to keep a cactus alive?? Currently, we have 4 house plants, all of which have been here for less than 6 months and 2 of them are on life support. I follow all directions, water, sun, temp, etc.  But they wither to my touch. Some folks have the touch, I have the rot. 

5. I didn’t get my driver’s license till almost 18 years old. I was terrified of driving and would have been happy to be like those little old ladies who get shuttled everywhere because they never learned to drive. I was good with that. But after my dad bullied me into learning, I totally got it, but didn’t get over my fear of driving till well into my 18th year. 

6. I have a strange photographic music memory. Maybe its because its my passion, but I can tell you which artist was on what label, had what producer, and odd facts about the highs and lows of their careers. We were in the car on the way back from my mom’s at 11pm last Saturday and to keep me alert Brad would ask me to give a biography of every artist that popped up on my car’s iPod screen. We were listening to my Dance Retro playlist, so I had to give random facts about Technotronic, S’Express, MARRS, Safri Duo and Starsailor. Not easy. The only other person I know with this skill is my friend Adam. I knew I found a kindred music spirit in him when he out did me on The Cure. He can tell you what studio musicians played on what, who wrote which song, etc. It’s a useless talent, but it keeps me sharp. 

marc's prince buttons7. I’m hiding a secret in the basement. I have thousands of dollars in Prince memorablia and I have no idea what to do with it. Buttons, sheet music, Trapper Keepers, 8 tracks, head bands, picture discs, boxed sets, magazines and more. But the most disturbing things are my 8 scrapbooks of prince articles from about 1984-1988. Brad found them recently and was amazed what loving detail I put into them. I was amazed I’d wasted so much time doing them!! If anyone out there has a Prince fetish, I have deals for you! Everything MUST go. 

Need an Apollonia button, Jamie? 




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6 Responses to “Re: Seven Things About Me”

  1. Jamie Says:


    Are you teasing me? You know I’m much more of a Vanity girl.

    Once again, I have to say that there’s a small chance we might be related. Miracle Whip was on my original 7 things list. I detest it. Some of the most heated arguments I’ve ever had have been with people that eat that schlock. I too have a black thumb. I’m proud if I can get a plant to survive 2 weeks. Shooting for an entire season has never really been an option.

    Your musical memory is something I am constantly in awe of. I have a good memory. I can usually beat anyone I know in recalling books, music, movies and TV. I cannot hold a candle to you. It’s immensely frustrating, but at the same time, so amazing to behold, I can’t hold it against you.

    I knew most of this stuff (except for the weird Prince fetish stuff), but I think it’s fun for other people to learn about us. We should make this a regular feature.


  2. David Says:

    The universe sometimes will show us how we are all connected, similar in many ways, yet different.

    So, some of Marc’s things are mine: #2 and #4 are me. Like Marc on #5, I did not get my license until I was 18, but not because of his reason, but because I had a very strict mother. All of us were forced to wait until we were 18 to get them.

    Marc’s memory for music -#6- (which has always awed me) is something I do with TV -especially old TV shows and movies. Bizarre I can remember who guest starred on I Love Lucy, yet can’t figure out how to change my oil on my car.

    Love to all

  3. roger Says:

    Kids, I hate to tell you, but Miracle Whip is actually the same thing as mayo. Seriously. It might not taste the same, but look at the ingredients list on a jar of Helmanns and a jar of Miracle Whip. Almost identical.

    I CAN tell you that I’m your polar opposites when it comes to that argument though. I’d rather die than eat real mayo. 🙂

  4. Jamie Says:

    Just because it’s made out of the same thing, doesn’t make it the same Roger. Oh, and you’re gross. How is it possible that you eat that shit?

  5. eric Says:

    Number 6 is just fantastic! I love that.

  6. Serge Says:

    Allrighty…I got here thru Google searching 4 Prince buttons! LOL So…in case u got some Prince stuff u wanna sell lemme know as I’m interested 🙂

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