Some Things I Don’t Understand

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Table for one, please?

Table for one, please?

Because of the amount I travel for business, I find myself eating A LOT of meals in restaurants alone. Some people would find this embarrassing or disturbing.  I actually kind of love it. It gives me time to think. Generally,  I just let my mind wander. Sometimes I come up with themes for my mealtime thoughts.  One time, I had dinner at a sports bar in Wilmington, OH and I made a list of my favorite words.  Lusty, rumble, omnipotent, predatory, twig, etc, etc, etc.  In all, I wrote down 177 words over those buffalo wings.  Another day, in Boston,  I mentally made a list of all the boys I’ve kissed over the years.  I seem to recall that was a particularly lengthy meal.

At dinner tonight, I had every intention of doing some work while I ate.  Come up with a to do list, write down all the ways I’m behind at work, something along those lines.  I picked up the menu to choose a dish and that’s when I saw it.  In bold letters across the top of the chicken section:  

BROASTED CHICKEN

Innocent enough, right?  But it got me thinking.  What is broasted chicken exactly?  I had it plenty of times during my childhood, but I’ve never really understood what it is.  Why is it different from fried chicken?  It tastes an awful lot like fried chicken to me.  If you’re going to make something as yummy as fried chicken, why not just make fried chicken?  I think I’ve only ever seen it on menus in Chicago. Is it a midwestern thing?  Why hasn’t it caught on?  

These seemingly innocuous thoughts about chicken led me to think about other things I don’t understand.  So I made a list (as I’m wont to do).

Clear Bra Straps – Why?  I can still see them.  They’re clear, not invisible, people.  What’s the point?  Aren’t they sweaty?  I think what you’re looking for, ladies, is something strapless or at the very least convertible. Someone explain.

The Electoral College – Yeah, yeah, I know.  I’ve read the books.  I’ve read the countless articles.  I’ve had political know-it-alls explain it to me.  I still do. not. get. it.  I’m a pretty smart girl (if I do say so myself) and it’s absolutely baffling.  How is regular guy on the street going to understand? Does it matter? I bet Sarah Palin is just as confused about it as I am, which does not make me feel good about myself.

Violent Rivalry – Admittedly, I’m more of a Cubs fan than White Sox fan.  I can’t help it, I love those dumb-asses. However, that does not mean I want the White Sox starting roster to spontaneously drop dead.  I’m a Chicago fan.  I want all Chicago teams to do well.  I want my fellow Chicagoans to be happy.  If I can’t be happy for my team, the next best thing is having happy people around me.  Why is this so foreign?  Is it just jealousy?  I’m sure I’m going to get a shitload of flack for this, but nobody has ever been able to justify the anyone-who-isn’t-us-sucks-donkey-balls rationale for me.

PCs – Why do people buy them?  I don’t really consider myself one of those weirdly loyal Mac people.  It’s just that Macs are so much cooler.  Apples ain’t perfect, but they come with better stuff, they hardly ever break down, they look beautiful, and they pretty much do anything a PC does now.  Is it all about cost?  When all is said and done, are they that much more expensive?  I truly don’t know.  I bought my current iMac in 2003…which is kind of my point.

Pennies – Aren’t we past the 1¢ coin?  Hasn’t it outlived it’s usefulness?  No machines take them.  The penny candy is long gone. They simply sit around and accumulate in junk drawers.  What’s the point?  Can’t we round up? Is this a conspiracy by Tennesseans who supply the majority of the zinc that makes up modern pennies?  If so, that is CRAFTY.  I’m not the only one who thinks this, what is taking so long?  Would our economy crash? (oops too late! Can I blame this on Republicans too?)

Yep, all this over some stupid chicken.  You should see what happens when I order a cocktail with my meal.

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6 Responses to “Some Things I Don’t Understand”

  1. Kimberly Says:

    Totally with you on the clear bra straps. I’m a huge Mac (really, all of Apple) fan too, but I do understand the PC love. I’ve had my Mac long enough to see what PCs have on them (increased functionality with certain programs, easier interface with certain hardware, more software apps, etc.). They are also a LOT cheaper when you’re buying work stations (for ex. I am looking to buy a work station for my photography and I could buy a small car for what I’d pay for a Mac work station vs. about $2500 for an equivalent PC one).

    Other things I do not understand:

    – people that don’t vote
    – people that don’t read
    – buying a book with the movie cover rather than the original cover

  2. Jamie Says:

    OK. Kimberly I concede on the Mac/PC thing, I guess. Movie tie-in paperbacks, good one. Marc and I met while working at Borders and we complained about that regularly. Neither one of us would buy them. Ever. And, frankly, we mocked anyone who did. Yeah, I’m talking to you, guy with Nights in Rodanthe in your hand.

  3. Sara Says:

    I just read the bra straps part to my office-mate. Too funny. And TRUE!

  4. David Says:

    Thanks for the clearing up the clear bra thingy. I think its odd.

    Like Kimberly pointed out, I too wonder about things:

    * people who buy and read James Patterson novels.

    * Why the new Knight Rider series is doing better than Pushing Daisies

    * Why women’s bathrooms get more trashed then the mens.

  5. To Think Is To Create Says:

    Omg, so true about the pennies! And I don’t get the PC thing either, really, because you can run Windows on a Mac, there is no “more apps” argument and hasn’t been for some time.

    It was so great meeting you this week!

  6. I understand a bit more than you, but not by much « ORD to LAX Says:

    […] come up with the best ideas for blogging, and as usual, there so good, I have to reply to your some-things-i-dont-understand posting (totally with you on the bra straps. So […]

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