Archive for October, 2008

The Interweb at 32,000 Feet

October 30, 2008

Marc,

 

As you know, I fly a lot.  A lot, a lot.  As of August of this year, I was Executive Platinum on American Airlines (100,000+ miles).  I know from flying.  So imagine my surprise a few months ago when I hopped on my flight from Boston to LA and noticed these weird young people with green polo shirts on my plane. They were sitting in coach, so I didn’t pay them any attention at first. Then after the captain turned off the seatbelt sign they started moving about the cabin.  Before I had a chance to complain about interlopers crossing over into my class of service, I overheard them explaining their presence to another flier.  They work for a company called GoGo and GoGo offers in-flight wireless internet access. Whoa.

So instead of telling on them to the flight attendants, I flagged them down.  

“Explain this magical internet to me.” I said.

“Well, Al Gore had this idea.  He was definitely thinking big…” the man-child replied.

“Not that story, fool. The No Go thing.” 

“Got it. It’s pretty simple ma’am.  Just open up your wire–.” he said.

“–Don’t call me ma’am.” I snapped.

“Jeez OK, open up your wireless device and choose our network. Launch your browser and follow the prompts.” he instructed.

“That’s it?” I wondered.

“That’s it.” He said.

“I don’t need to pass some special anti-terrorist TSA test?”

“Nope.  You can start using the internet now.” 

“That doesn’t seem safe.” 

But apparently it is safe and cool as hell.  Don’t get me wrong, I categorically refuse to work on airplanes.  It is the only time during the work week that I get to be alone.  Truly unreachable and alone. Not to mention the fact that it’s cramped, I’m usually exhausted and it is not an environment conducive to generating a quality product. And let’s be honest, it’s pretty difficult for me to do anything right after several cocktails. However, being able to use the internet on a transcontinental flight is a great perk.  I can look at blogs, catch up on news and even stream stolen movies all from the comfort of my seat. For $12,95, that’s pretty awesome!  Now if I could just get them to replace the flight attendants with people who HAVE personalities, I would be golden.

XO

Jamie

Get Pissed!

October 28, 2008

Marc,

Start Filling the Sand Bags!

I love this side of you.  Get angry.  It feels good, doesn’t it?  

I’ve kind of had a great week and a shit week all wrapped up in one.  It’s been as awesome as it has been sucky.  Andrew and I went on a short 4 day trip after I left New York.  We headed to Key West and it rained…and rained…and rained.   Not just cute Florida drizzle rain with sun breaking through, but monsoon-style downpour rain. Record-breaking rainfall.  I was pissed.  At the same time, Andy and I had a boatload of fun together.  We rarely get two uninterrupted days together, let alone four,  and it felt really good to just–be.  We happened to pick the best/worst time to visit the Keys.  

Last week was a little thing called Fantasyfest.  For those of you who don’t know (and I didn’t until I got there), Fantasyfest is like a tropical Ren Faire crossed with Mardi Gras.  It’s dirty, sweaty and a poor excuse for middle-aged women to not wear bras.  Which could be awesome, but somehow…isn’t.  Firstly, I take bra-wearing pretty seriously. Ladies should honor the droopy-boob code. I really don’t want to see your nipples, especially in the pouring rain, when you’ve had too many Mai Tais, you know?  Secondly, I don’t want to see grown people having sex outside.  Let me state this up front:  I am NOT a prude.  Marc, back me up here.  I’m actually pretty open when it comes to sex.  BUT and this is a huge BUT (hee!), if you are only released from your pedestrian life for one weekend a year and you choose to spend it in Key West for Fantasyfest, that’s not my problem.  Fly your freak flag more often at home.  Use your webcam to make home movies.  Entertain gentlemen callers IN your hotel room.  Whatever. Don’t assault my senses while I’m trying to relax. Please?

Hanging out, but not HANGING OUT, if you know what I mean.

Other than the rain and Magda boobs, I loved spending quality time with Andrew.  Key West is definitely a place that I would visit again.  We went deep-sea fishing (he got a little sea sick!), we had a lot of great drinks and our hotel was super cute.  By the time we were ready to leave, I was fully relaxed and ready to get home to our dogs, who I hadn’t seen in over three weeks.  Then I got the call.  Client in trouble…back to New York.  Homecoming had to wait a few days. So sucky.

XO

Jamie

P.S. Welcome to the wonderful world of Macs.  Call me with questions!

I’m over you, Bill G

October 26, 2008

 

This is for you, Microsoft!

This is for you, Microsoft!

Alright Jamie. You win. I’ve just about had it with Microsoft. I’ve been a long time PC guy and have always defended my use amongst the growing Macworld, but this is it. As a faithful PC guy, I downloaded the new IE 8.2 Beta so I can stay abreast and it is as crippling as Vista (which I refuse to get). Most websites I I go to are missing things or are being blocked and when I tried to get a plug in to fix it, it doesn’t work. Something is not set right and I shouldn’t have to work so hard and search through unreadable help pages to figure it out.

Compound this with the fact that I’ve had 6 MP3 players and the one that outlasted all of them was my iPod (sorry, its not the one you picked out for me years ago, I broke that one). All the rest, PC based.

I’m in the market for my own Macbook or Laptop PC for work, but not sure how compatible a Mac is with all my work stuff. I’ll have to do some research and find out. If I can, I’m going Mac with my next one. You’ve lose a good friend, Bill Gates, and may have gained a powerful enemy. 

This blog has been typed up on Safari for the first time. Good bye IE, I won’t miss you. 

xoxo

Marc

Crush of the Moment/Retrocrush: Rick Rossovich

October 21, 2008

Sorry Jamie. I’ve been bad about posting with the most hectic schedule for the past few weeks I’ve had in my life. So, until I can actually do some semi-real writing, I thought I’d update our Crush of the Moment posting.

For Halloween, Brad and I are going out with a group to be a group 80’s icon costume. We’re going as the men of top gun along with Jake and Justin, and I’ve pegged my self as, who I consider to be, the hottest of the 4 main men. Not Tom Cruise, or even the ‘handsome for a second’ Val Kilmer. I’m going out as Rick Rossovich!

top gun beach scene

top gun beach scene

Was I the only one who only had eyes for Rick? Easily the prettiest and straightest one in the bunch and he didn’t have Tom Cruise’s freakish concave chest!

You may have forgotten Rick, but i followed him a bit as he co-starred in Roxanne with Steve Martin where he was even hotter than in TG, and most recently he did a show called Pacific Blue. Asking me to recall the plotline is fruitless as I was only watching him go from hottie to saltnpepper fox!

If you’re curious as to his goings on check out his blog. He doesn’t really act, but works on properites he invested in. Sadly ladies and ladies, he’s still hetro and loves his wife and kids. Why do the straights get him, and we get Hobbit Cruise!?

Well, Rick, even thought you look like a crazy homeless man now, we’ll always have the 80’s.

(thanks for some of the pics: http://freenet-homepage.de/RickRossovich/index2.html)

New York Scares Me

October 19, 2008

Marc,

My family waiting for me

My family waiting for me at home

As you know, I’ve been traveling a ton lately. Since September 14 I’ve been away from home for a total of twenty-eight days, first in Chicago and now in New York. Mostly, I love traveling. I miss Andrew, Gertie and Imogene so much it hurts my heart, but there is a part of me that really likes to be out on the road experiencing new places.

Being in a large city by yourself for an extended period of time does have its advantages. New people at the hotel bar to chat with every night, discovering small hole-in-the-wall joints that even locals think they’re too cool for (who do I have to impress?) wearing the same clothes over and over again and no one noticing; the list goes on and on. The only place where I don’t feel the advantages is New York.

I spend quite a bit of time here and I never know what to do with myself.  I come up with grand plans about the theater, fine dining, sightseeing, museums, and concerts.  I do almost none of them.  I usually chalk it up to time.  I work really hard and often there isn’t any time to experience the fun stuff after the work is done. But, if I’m being honest with myself, that isn’t the only reason.  I think that I’m overwhelmed here, scared even.  I’m so intimidated by the vastness of this city that I often find myself paralyzed.  But why? I know it’s big, but so is LA, so is Chicago.  I am totally at home in both of those cities. What is it about New York that knocks me down? 

Marc, I think I just realized that I might have an inferiority complex.  I feel like I’m not smart or cool enough to “get” New York and New York ways, so I don’t try.  It’s kind of like how I felt about sororities in college! This is a weird sensation for me.  I’m pretty comfortable in most situations. I am fairly personable and seem to be nice enough for people to not be instantly repelled by my personality.  Nothing changes when I land at JFK.  I don’t know what there is to be scared of here.  

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think it’s New York’s fault.  I place all the blame on myself.  It’s a lovely city.  Central Park is one of my favorite places and the fall here is magnificent.  I’m lucky enough to stay at really beautiful hotels like the Gramercy Park and SoHo Grand, so I cannot complain about accommodations.  I could do without the smell, but without alleys, I’m not sure anything can be done about that, plus you get used to it.  This is a problem entirely of my own making.  Which means I can do something about it.

So, I’m trying. I made a concerted effort on this trip to get out and do some interesting things.  Nothing extraordinary, but flex my New York muscle, if you will.  First, I took several really long walks at night all by myself; got my bearings, saw new places in the streets of midtown. I even stopped at a couple of joints for a drink along the way. 

I went to a party too.  Last week my fabulous friend Danny Seo (Marc, Danny says Hi!) invited me to a party for Conde Nast Traveler magazine at the New York Public Library.  Usually I would beg off and work (see: NY social paralysis above), but I mustered up the strength to slink into a cocktail dress and head toward Bryant Park.  The party was just fine, (I got shooed out of a photo, which was classic!) but mostly it was great to see Danny, have some fun conversation and get out of my hotel room for a change.   And we laughed…a lot.

I was also super fortunate to meet up with an old, old, old, old classmate from high school who is now living in New York.  We connected through facebook recently, and when I mentioned that I was coming to the city we decided to get together and catch up.  I could go on and on about the wonders of facebook and why it’s so important to our culture, but that’s a post for another time.  What I will say is how much I appreciate the ability to check up on and in with people from my past that I periodically wonder about.  Guy is definitely one of those people.  We didn’t necessarily run in the same circles back then, but we took an AP art class together that definitely left a deep impression on both of us. Meeting up with someone you don’t see very often can be weird and we haven’t seen each other since high school graduation 12 years ago.  What if we’re totally different people?  Even worse, what if we’re not?  It turns out it wasn’t that weird.  We actually have quite a bit in common (still) and I thoroughly enjoyed his company.  We had a few drinks, something to eat and talked a ton.  After that night, I saw Guy a couple more times while I was here.  I was so grateful to have someone pleasant* to do New York things with, like go to MOMA and visit new neighborhoods, it made the tail end of my epic trip truly enjoyable. 

So, like I said, I’m trying.  New York is going to have to be patient with me.  Let’s see what I can take on when I come out in December for a week.  A night at the theater, perhaps?  A visit to the Cloisters?   Skating at Rockefeller?  Ok, OK. I’ll slow down.

 

XO

Jamie

 

*Thanks again, Guy, for letting me tag along with you and monopolize your week.  You probably didn’t realize it, but you helped me take a big step in getting over my New York issues.  I’m sorry I chatted your ear off and I will always disagree with you about one-night-stands, but it was brilliant reconnecting. Facebook rocks!

If I Could Only Have Five Albums on my iPod

October 17, 2008

Marc,

You’re right.  Desert Island lists are lame. So I choose a musical scenario where I’m only allowed to put five complete albums on my iPod.  It sounds like something Apple might force people to do, right?  I’m not sure I have the musical depth that you do, so my albums might seem trite, but this is what I would choose (today).

"I'd Give It All Up For You"

I'd Give It All Up For You

Simply Red, Stars

No. Seriously.  I love this album.  From the moment I heard Mick Hucknall growl, “Show Me” at the beginning of “Something Got Me Started”  as a 15 year old, I was sold.  There is something so sexy about their music (and him, frankly.  Could it be the red hair?). I can never figure out why nobody listens to it. Side note: Stars was the soundtrack to my first great love affair.  I was a freshman, he was a senior.  I figured out he was a douchebag in about five days, but I will never forget sitting around my house, listening to this CD, waiting for him to show up.  I will also never forget the way that guy grossed me out when he kissed me. Ick.  Simply Red was the only good thing I got out of that relationship.

Smashing Pumpkins, Siamese Dream

I was a teenager during the 90’s when music was turned on it’s ear, resulting in some of the worst shlock ever produced.  But there were a select few groups that cut through the clutter and made truly groundbreaking albums and I don’t think it was a surprise that they were all considered “alternative”. A beautiful alternative to all the other crap we were forced to digest (see: Spin Doctors).  There are several groups I could include here like, Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Soundgarden, Sonic Youth and Nirvana, but I think the best of this time period and genre is the Smashing Pumpkins.  Maybe it’s because I’m from Chicago, maybe it’s because they tended to be a little softer than the rest, I don’t know.  What I do know is that Siamese Dream is a masterpiece.  If you don’t believe me, listen to track number 9, Mayonnaise.  You will not be sorry.

"Say What You Want"

Say What You Want

Tears for Fears, The Hurting

As a child I remember hearing Tears For Fears’  “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” on the radio and thinking it was a nice head-bopping pop song.  Then I grew up.  That’s when I heard “Ideas as Opiates” from The Hurting and it made an incredible impact.  It’s the type of song I call ugly-beautiful.  It shouldn’t be enjoyable.  It’s weird and dated and not right in scale.  It’s also magic.  Pure musical magic.  The Hurting is the kind of album that makes me wish I was a tiny bit older so I could have enjoyed it in the moment.

 

Justin Timberlake, Justified

You know I love me some boy bands.  I take that genre of music completely at face value.  Because really, that’s all it is; FACE value. Thusly, I underestimated Justin Timberlake.  A lot.  I didn’t think he was capable of producing anything I would actually want to listen to or buy.  I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong again.  Justified proved just how very wrong I was.  “Rock Your Body” is one of the catchiest R&B songs of all time and Timberlake dumping on Britney during “Cry Me A River” is a stroke of genius. Who cheats on Justin Timberlake anyway? Jesus.  He’s since followed up with Future Sex/Love Sounds and it is also fabulous, but I don’t think he can top the surprise value of Justified.

The Cure

"I'd Love To Touch The Sky Tonight"

I'd Love To Touch The Sky Tonight

This is probably the hardest choice for me.  I love The Cure.  Every. Single. Album.  We’ve had this argument about a thousand times by now.  Which one is the best?  I usually say Disintegration and you say Wish.  It’s really a toss up, I think.  In this scenario, I need a little something extra.  Something varied and enjoyable, not just deep and meaningful.  So I would choose, Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me.  There are countless reasons why this is the right choice, but if I was only able to listen to five albums worth of music for the rest of my life and I couldn’t hear “One More Time” ever again, I’m not sure life would be worth living.  

 

Marc, you and I both know that there are thousands of albums that could be included on this list.  I didn’t get to add in any of my runner-ups like, Radiohead, Talking Heads, The Smiths, Solomon BurkeDavid BowieColdplayWilcoU2, The National or any of the others that have helped shaped my musical life.  So I’m reserving the right to adjust our lists periodically.  I don’t think Apple will mind.

XO

Jamie

A Few of My Favorite Things

October 16, 2008

Marc,

You like stuff as much as I do (I know you do, so don’t try and lie about it). I really miss the days when we got to talk daily about our new discoveries.  Like when I bought an iPod and you declared that they weren’t worth the money.  Remember that?  Or when you told me about myspace for the first time and I immediately joined?  So I’m bringing that tradition back.  I’ve decided to periodically share with you my newest favorite things. They won’t be as special as whiskers on kittens, but these posts will be all about the things that are making my life better/more fun/easier to manage. 

My inaugural favorite things post is a freebie, you don’t even have to spend money…technically.

"...and all that money makes such a succulent sound..."

"miss christina drives a .944..."

Music playlists are a way of life.  You’re either a person who understands how to make a good one or you’re not.  It’s a skill like writing or drawing.  It cannot be learned along the way.  You have to feel a good mix.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s a birthright and you and I have been blessed with the gift. 

Except now thanks to the latest version of iTunes and it’s Genius Bar, everyone has the ability to share in our knowledge. I’ve been using the genius function for a couple weeks and it’s proven to be pretty intuitive.  I’m not going to go into all the math and algorythms involved, because I’m too stupid to understand them and I don’t really give a shit, but if it interests you, you can hear about them here.  Basically, when you turn genius on in iTunes it begins to collect information about your music tracks.  It then uses this information and the information it’s gathered from other users to group similar music together.  After you’ve completed the information gathering stage, you can start to build playlists with it.

To make a genius playlist in iTunes, you just highlight a song you like and click the genius button.  That’s it.  A new playlist based on that track will pop up.  After you’ve looked at the playlist, you can choose to refresh it (adding new suggestions) or save it as a new playlist.  Obviously, this function works best for people that have a lot of music available in their library.  The more music you have, the more accurate your results will be and the more you will actually like your playlists!  

"...satisfaction oozes from her pores..."

"...satisfaction oozes from her pores..."

I have over 9000 tracks in my library and consistently listen to maybe 600 of them.  The rest stay dormant until I happen to think about them or I accidently hit the space bar with my boob and they start to play. Genius has been a fabulous tool to rediscovering some of the great stuff in my library that I never think to listen to.  Just the other day, it added David + David’s hit, Welcome to the Boomtown to a playlist.  Not a song I listen to frequently, but I love it nonetheless.  Good find iTunes!

With all that said, it isn’t perfect.  I definitely noticed some gaps in it’s information.  I couldn’t get it to generate a playlist from Flo Rida’s, Low (Stop laughing. I mean it.  I love that song!) and that’s a relatively new and popular song.  I have also noticed that it uses the same songs over and over again. I’m not sure if that has to do with the frequency in which I play them or their ratings, but I would like it to be a little more original sometimes.  Ultimately though, Genius is a fabulous time saver for a list maker like myself.  I don’t think I will ever give up the hand-crafted playlist, but it really serves its purpose when you’re in a rush or you have a taste for a certain kind of song.  

Marc, have you tried it yet?  What do you think?  

XO

Jamie

PS. How’s your iPod?

I understand a bit more than you, but not by much

October 14, 2008

Jamie,

You always come up with the best ideas for blogging, and as usual, there so good, I have to reply to your some-things-i-dont-understand posting (totally with you on the bra straps. So tacky).

1. Bless You: People will stop everything they do, even a nationwide conference call, to say Bless You after someone sneezes. Why? Originally folks thought that evil spirits could enter your body when you sneezed so Bless You was a stop gap to keep the ghosts from going up your nose. But in this day and age, do I really need God’s blessing because a gnat flew up there? Stop it. Just Stop it!!! I refuse to say it. I’ll reserve my blessing for people I see in November with an I Voted label on there jacket!

2. Reply All Junkies: I have a number of friends and coworkers that when given a mass email with some innocuous info meant to either just read over, forward, or reply to sender, seem to think that their opinion is SO important and profound, my Aunt Betsy needs to know. If you know every single person on the email and we ask for your input, great! Fabulous. But Reply All is a something to be used sparingly when asked. You want to voice your opinion to all, stand on a street corner or get a blog like everyone else.

The band, not the burlesque show

The band, not the burlesque show

3. The popularity of The Pussycat Dolls, Nicolas Cage, ShamWow, Jay Leno, Peeps, Anne Rice, People Magazine, Twitter, Prison Break on Fox, and queens that still think frosted tips and highlights are a good idea. No other comment that’s never been said, I just don’t get it frankly. And I’m not providing links for any of these abominations.

gaypub4. Gay Republicans. Really? Really. What kind of low self esteem bitch do you have to be to put a tax break over your right to be with the one you love and get basic civil rights? Every Log Cabin Repub I’ve ever met has been a single, lonely, bitter, man (Cheney’s daughter is the only lezpublican) who has to pay for sex and spends his spare time lashing out at dems and paying for sex. Oh, and by the by, any republican in office would shake your hand then make a homophobic remark when you’re out of the room. And most likely that same Neo-Con would proposition you for a hand job in the toilet later.

And there’s allot else I don’t get, but I usally put them out of my mind as I cross them day to day.

Trapped indoors with a fabulous CD player, Volume 1…

October 10, 2008

…since Desert Island Disc listing are so cliche! I mean, if you were on a desert island, if there were any left, how would you plug your damned player in. Really!

I just got the new Keane and Dead Confederate CDs today and both were revelations. Keane, because its so good it made me remember how brilliant the first CD, Hopes and Dreams was, and DC because every once in a while you hear an artist new to you and they make that perfect CD that renews your faith in music, just like many folks see Nirvana’s Nevermind (which I think is an overrated piece of crap). So, here’s 5 CDs that really made me prick up my ears and love music again:

Purple Rain-Prince and the Revolution: I was deep into my Michael Jackon and Judas Priest phase at 14 years old when I heard When Doves Cry on the radio on a family trip. It was the first time I let myself be challenged by what the notion of pop music was and get into the weirdness of this incredibly creative song. One month later I was at WalMart the day it came out and was forced to choose between the Jacksons new album and Purple Rain. I made the right choice. Michael was never good again, and Prince was my world for the next 10 years. After he dumped Wendy and Lisa, I quickly realized they were his weirdness, and he became a cheap imitation of himself. I’m still hoping he pulls his head out of his Jehova Witness ass and gets odd again.

David Sylvian’s Secrets of the Beehive still sounds as vital and new as it did 20 years ago. A precursor to Peter Gabriel and Talk Talk’s later output, this album is like no other ever made. You really just can’t compare his vocals and intricate instrumentation to any out there before or since. This is one of those CDs I can’t understand why EVERYONE doesn’t own. Its shear beauty on disc. He put so much thought into this, the world should have collectively thanked him. But only a handful of us crazy Sylvian fans took notice. Take a listen, and trust me on this one. Great autumn music Listen on lastfm

Kylie Minogue-Light Years. I wasn’t big on pure pop at the time, and certainly had lost track of Ms Minogue over the years, but one night while working at Borders Clark and Diversey in Chicago, I saw the cover of her LTD Edition version with remixes and thought “well, if its crap, I’m gay enough to like the remixes”. And while the remixes were actually kind of crap, Light Years proved to be a brilliant shiny listen all the way through. Instead of pops usual drum machine/keyboard throw aways, real thought was put into this album. Its just a great feel good CD, and it got me looking into other overseas pop which still stands up today. Also see: Robbie Williams The Ego Has Landed.

That’s it for now. More later. I just felt really inspired by those 2 new fantastic recordings. What are yours?

Love love,

Marc

Some Things I Don’t Understand

October 7, 2008

 

Table for one, please?

Table for one, please?

Because of the amount I travel for business, I find myself eating A LOT of meals in restaurants alone. Some people would find this embarrassing or disturbing.  I actually kind of love it. It gives me time to think. Generally,  I just let my mind wander. Sometimes I come up with themes for my mealtime thoughts.  One time, I had dinner at a sports bar in Wilmington, OH and I made a list of my favorite words.  Lusty, rumble, omnipotent, predatory, twig, etc, etc, etc.  In all, I wrote down 177 words over those buffalo wings.  Another day, in Boston,  I mentally made a list of all the boys I’ve kissed over the years.  I seem to recall that was a particularly lengthy meal.

At dinner tonight, I had every intention of doing some work while I ate.  Come up with a to do list, write down all the ways I’m behind at work, something along those lines.  I picked up the menu to choose a dish and that’s when I saw it.  In bold letters across the top of the chicken section:  

BROASTED CHICKEN

Innocent enough, right?  But it got me thinking.  What is broasted chicken exactly?  I had it plenty of times during my childhood, but I’ve never really understood what it is.  Why is it different from fried chicken?  It tastes an awful lot like fried chicken to me.  If you’re going to make something as yummy as fried chicken, why not just make fried chicken?  I think I’ve only ever seen it on menus in Chicago. Is it a midwestern thing?  Why hasn’t it caught on?  

These seemingly innocuous thoughts about chicken led me to think about other things I don’t understand.  So I made a list (as I’m wont to do).

Clear Bra Straps – Why?  I can still see them.  They’re clear, not invisible, people.  What’s the point?  Aren’t they sweaty?  I think what you’re looking for, ladies, is something strapless or at the very least convertible. Someone explain.

The Electoral College – Yeah, yeah, I know.  I’ve read the books.  I’ve read the countless articles.  I’ve had political know-it-alls explain it to me.  I still do. not. get. it.  I’m a pretty smart girl (if I do say so myself) and it’s absolutely baffling.  How is regular guy on the street going to understand? Does it matter? I bet Sarah Palin is just as confused about it as I am, which does not make me feel good about myself.

Violent Rivalry – Admittedly, I’m more of a Cubs fan than White Sox fan.  I can’t help it, I love those dumb-asses. However, that does not mean I want the White Sox starting roster to spontaneously drop dead.  I’m a Chicago fan.  I want all Chicago teams to do well.  I want my fellow Chicagoans to be happy.  If I can’t be happy for my team, the next best thing is having happy people around me.  Why is this so foreign?  Is it just jealousy?  I’m sure I’m going to get a shitload of flack for this, but nobody has ever been able to justify the anyone-who-isn’t-us-sucks-donkey-balls rationale for me.

PCs – Why do people buy them?  I don’t really consider myself one of those weirdly loyal Mac people.  It’s just that Macs are so much cooler.  Apples ain’t perfect, but they come with better stuff, they hardly ever break down, they look beautiful, and they pretty much do anything a PC does now.  Is it all about cost?  When all is said and done, are they that much more expensive?  I truly don’t know.  I bought my current iMac in 2003…which is kind of my point.

Pennies – Aren’t we past the 1¢ coin?  Hasn’t it outlived it’s usefulness?  No machines take them.  The penny candy is long gone. They simply sit around and accumulate in junk drawers.  What’s the point?  Can’t we round up? Is this a conspiracy by Tennesseans who supply the majority of the zinc that makes up modern pennies?  If so, that is CRAFTY.  I’m not the only one who thinks this, what is taking so long?  Would our economy crash? (oops too late! Can I blame this on Republicans too?)

Yep, all this over some stupid chicken.  You should see what happens when I order a cocktail with my meal.