Archive for September, 2008

…And Now My Fake Friends…

September 30, 2008

Hi Jamie,

Good plan, and can I hang out with you and your fake friends? I’ll bring mine along and we’ll have a tea party.

Based on basic needs, here’s some fake friends that cover my core values:

1. Food: Nigella Lawson has it all: she’s rich, gorgeous, British and she licks her fingers so sexily, it makes gay guys question things. I hosted her ages ago at Borders Michigan Avenue and found her just as mesmorizing in person as she is on TV. And she’s one curvy lady. Beans and rice (on toast) didn’t miss her!

2. Music: Ann Magnuson got her start as the lead singer of Bongwater back in the 80’s. They were a psych folk duo from the lower East side of NYC who wrote hilarious skewering looks at pop culture and posers and destroyed classics by Led Zepplin, Moody Blues and The Weavers until they were begging for mercy. If you EVER have the chance, give them a listen.

After they broke up for “artist differences” (her bandmate Kramer is a douchebag) she moved on to acting in the Jamie Leigh Curtis Show Anything But Love, and movies like Making Mr Right, Clear and Present Danger, Panic Room and of course, Glitter! Most recently, she put out her second CD Pretty Songs and Ugly Stories.

She’s campy and talented and folks like Margaret Cho, Julie Brown and The Dresden Dolls would be nothing without her.

3. Humor: Dave Holmes is best known as the guy that came in 2nd on MTV’s I Wanna Be a VJ to that awful Jesse Camp, who was let go after a short term, while Dave continued on to host 3 of their shows.  I never understood why I’ve never crossed paths with him. We’re both from St Louis, exact same age, and he’s a big ‘mo. In fact, he is still one of the only TV personalities I can think of who actually didn’t wait for fame to come out.  Bravo, Dave! I’d probably have put him down as Fake Husband, but he lives in LA and, oh, I forgot, we both are taken. Oh well.

Check out his site to see what he’s up to. He’s still doing allot while Jesse Camp, I can only guess, is sucking for crack.

4. Fashion: Tom Ford. I don’t think I’d like him, but I’d pretend to just so I could stare at him all day.

Yes, I'll sit on it.

Yes, I

C’mon! You know we’ve all had times where we meet folks and want to hang out with them just because they’re handsome, rich and have a posse of dumb West Hollywood hotties in tow. Well, this is mine. I have enough legit, dear friends. This ones completely superficial.


My Fake Friends

September 29, 2008


You’ll appreciate this.  I was watching a really boring episode of Project Runway the other day and I started daydreaming to entertain myself.  I don’t remember much about my fantasy, but I know it involved Tim Gunn and me heading to the mall together to find a new pair of knee-high boots.*  When I regained consciousness, I got to thinking; What TV personalities would make the best friends and why?

"You're my best friend..."

"...You're my best friend..."

Tom Colicchio – He’s a master chef, but you just know he likes to drink regular guy beer and eat mac and cheese from the pot.  I want him to be my down-to-earth foodie friend.  Not uppity like Gail or too adventurous like Anthony Bourdain, but a friend equally at home snacking on kettle corn or making a six course meal together.

Todd Oldman – Is it possible he’s as nice as he seems?  I don’t see how that could be so.  He would be my I’m-feeling-crappy-about-myself-I-need-a-lift-friend.  I mean, he says positive things about every single shitty design he sees on Top Design.  The man must be the sweetest person ever or the most convincing pathological liar that ever walked this green earth.  Either quality would make him a wicked friend!

Dr. Phil – I know what you’re going to say.  No, trust me, I know.  He’s an idiot. He’s singlehandedly ruining the psychological profession.  Uh huh.  I know.  BUT he’s just the type of therapist-friend I need.  Tell me like it is!  No sugar coating.  No pussy footing around.  Hit me!  
“What do you think about my life, Phil?”   
“I can see where you could say that, but–”
“–Oh, OK. Um, really?”  
“I’m really that bad? I just wouldn’t use the word delusional. Wow.”
“Oh yeah?  Well, Phil, you have a huge melon head.  Asshat.”
On second thought…

Isaac Mizrahi – I love that he’s insecure, just like regular not-talented people.  He’ll cry with me while watching Lifetime made for TV movies. The beauty of Isaac is that he remembers everyone’s birthdays.  He goes with you to doctors appointments and listens when you complain for the 1000th time about your job. He’s sensitive and whiny, but I love him like a brother anyhow.

How does he do that?

How does he do that?

Phil Keoghan – As you know, thanks to you, I’ve actually met and had a few email exchanges with Phil, but we are not even close to being friends.  Besides being nice, he’s one of the most passionate people I’ve ever talked to.  He loves life, believes in his work, is socially responsible, and has accomplished everything on his lifetime to do list.  Impressive.  Phil is the friend to keep you excited to wake up everyday.  Plus the eyebrow porn is too cute.

Michael Kors – I want him to be my bitchy gay friend (it’s just imaginary Marc, relax).  Come on.  You know he’s crazy funny.  He’s the person I’ll share hangovers with at Sunday brunch.  We’ll both wear our sunglasses inside and laugh about how everyone around us has “questionable taste”.  

I suppose it’s no coincidence that these are all men. I’m sure Dr. Phil would have something to say about that.  Unfortunately, I have to run now. Michael Kors just called.  There’s a party at Tim Gunn’s house and he wants me to wear my new boots!





* I know how you hate girl-shopping (your only flaw, by the way) so it isn’t technically cheating on you.

“Walking Through the Park and Reminiscing”…

September 23, 2008


Watch out, indeed!  Your birthday was pretty wild.  A good time was had by all (including bystanders). Hee.  I can’t believe I’ve missed the last couple of birthdays.  I will do everything in my power not to miss any more, especially number 40 next year.  40, really? Ha, you’re old!

You know how we were talking this weekend about how long we’ve been friends?  About how you were younger than I am now when we met 10 years ago?  It got me thinking about all the other things that were happening around that time.

In 1998:

Bad music year, huh?

Bad music year, huh?

  • Titanic won Best Picture at the Oscars.
  • President Clinton denied having sexual relations with “that woman”.
  • President Clinton outlines the first balanced budget in 30 years (even if he did have sexual relations with “that woman”).
  • Shawn Colvin’s, “Sunny Came Home” won the Record of the Year Grammy.
  • “Ray of Light” gave Madonna the VMAs biggest award.
  • Garth Brooks was actually relevant.
  • Frank Sinatra and Sonny Bono died. 
  • The Bulls were still good.  That was their last championship.
It’s kind of amazing actually.  I can’t believe that in such a crap year, I met one of the best friends I’ll ever have.  It almost makes up for Shawn Colvin.  Almost…

Marc’s Music Vault 2

September 23, 2008

This post really could fall under our Music posts AND our crush of the moment. Mmmmmm….Duncan Sheik


The tune I’m posting today really didn’t have much of a shot at being a hit although it was a ‘single’. Put out as the 2nd single from his final album with Warner Bros, Half Life (right click the above link to download) works on 2 levels, personal and anthemic. This song hit a personal note for me when it came out as I was kinda crushing on a friend of mine who was never going to love me back. It was like keeping this big secret inside, and I could tell no one. Listen to the lyrics and you’ll get it. But it also inspires me as a bit of an anthem. He writes of having a literal and figurative awakening after a nap. He just gets tired of living a lie and decides its time to make real change. He speaks of the half life all us gay boys and girls go through when not fully out of the closet. While I’m sure Duncan isn’t gay (as much as I hoped) I know the feeling is universal, and gay or straight, we’ve all been there.

I’m listening to the track now, and it always gets me choked up, on many levels.

Birthday Sunday!

September 23, 2008

Hey Jamie,

Was so amazing having you and our pal Dave in both coincidentally on my birthday! I’m a lucky boy. I’m not going to go on too much about the weekend since you were there, but to recap, my actual birthday day, Sunday started off with a champagne brunch at Angelina Ristorante in Lakeview ( The brunch is delicious, but nothing to different to blog about, but the fun part was local celebrity Amy Armstrong ( who was hosting that day got the whole restaurant to sing to me. Lovely. I was five shades of red, but happy.

Then after  workout and disco nap, the main core of gays met up at Crew Sports bar ( to get some eats and beer. You were there!!

A great low key time was had by all and I never was without a free beer. I knew the night was ramping up when 2 of my cute boys bought me shots at 5pm. Yea! Thanks Chip and Doug, you sexy beasts.

Then, on to the condo where my bf, BK, brought out my favorite cake in the universe, Janine’s cake from Taste of Heaven: 3 layers of vanilla cake with fresh berries stuffed in between and covered with white chocolate and a butter cream icing that would make Paula Dean moist.

After my sugar coma and more booze, we headed to Showtunes night at sidetrack where another 25 or so boys were waiting to by my more and more cocktails. It gets a bit blurry there, and thank god for that. Jamie, you were there, you witnessed, you know. : )

Huge thanks to my amazing amazing friends who came out. I am so amazingly grateful to have gotten to know such top notch folks. I’m so blessed.

Stay tuned next year as I turn 40! Watch out men and women of Chicago!

Love/Hate Lockdown

September 22, 2008

My feelings about Kanye West have always been mixed.  He’s got a couple things going for him:  

Chicago connection, I love.  
Mama’s boy, I love.
Stylish, I love.
Music creativity, I love.
Friends with Common, I LOVE. 

However, in the few run-ins I’ve had with him over the years he’s acted like an unmitigated jackass.  Pretty much general megalomaniacal behavior, but he’s a pro at giving it added douche-y flair.  Let us not forget this gem.  Most of the time I just chalk it up to persona and bravado.  If I’m really annoyed, I sort of separate the man from the music.

So, against my better judgement, I’m really feeling Kanye right now. 

His show at Lollapalooza this August was the perfect ending to an already rockin’ weekend.  The set was so masterful, every single song resonated with the sold out hometown crowd. That show (which was not my first) made me realize how creative, innovative and versatile he actually is.  Fine.  I’m willing to give it to him.

All of my rental cars of late have had XM radio in them.  I’m a Sirius girl at home, so I am completely lost when it comes to navigating XM channels.  With no First Wave to listen to, I usually just end up on the top 20 channel.  They have been playing the hell out of this song for months and I adore it.

American Boy (feat. Kanye West) – Estelle

Estelle’s voice is really perfect for this type of track and the rest of her John Legend-produced album, Shine, is just as stellar. However, I think it’s Kanye who really shines in this song. I even love him in the video. Foiled again!

Finally, I noticed earlier this month that he had a new single on iTunes (my virtual home-away-from-home). He’s always worth a try even if I end up being meh on the song, so I gave it a listen.  

Love Lockdown – Kanye West

This song is evocative, catchy and a breath of fresh air.  Now I can’t wait to hear the rest of the new album later this year.  Damn you!   

Game. Set. Match. 
Well played, Kanye.

Lazy Sundays in Chicago

September 21, 2008

Hello there,

You’ll be glad to know that I’ve recovered from my Friday night drinking binge. I’ve never been too much of a drinker, but there are occasions where I temporarily lose my mind. Friday was one of those times.  Four beers, five bourbon and gingers… wasted.  It took most of the day Saturday, but I managed to pick myself up and am ready for your birthday celebration.  I think it’s mostly because of the weather (and copious amounts of diet coke).  

It’s impossible to be in the dumps on a beautiful late summer day in Chicago.  I know me some gorgeous weather.  I live in Los Angeles where it is perfect 98% of the time. But Chicago, oh, Chicago in September is something to experience.  Warm sunny days, cool crisp nights.  It’s almost enough to make you forget the frozen tundra of December/January/February/March/April.  Almost, but not quite, because if you’ve ever experienced an el platform at 6am on a -10 degree windchill morning, you will never forget it. Ever.



As a matter of fact, it was such a morning that I decided to high-tail it out of here and move to LA.  I was at the Blue Line stop at Damen and I was wearing the ugliest down coat known to man.  The color was “raspberry” and it went from the top of my head to my ankles.  It was so fugly, that It is the single article of clothing in our relationship that Andrew refused to be seen with me in.  With such a sacrifice of fashion you would have thought it was warm and cozy.  Not a chance.  Even that coat with all it’s thinsulate glory could not protect me.  That’s when I realized it was a losing battle.  I could never be comfortable in Chicago winter weather.  Some people aren’t bothered by it.  For me It was impossible to get over.  So after 28 years, I set my sights on warmer climes leaving all my family and friends behind. 

And here we are.  I’ve been in LA over 2 1/2 years.  I’m thrilled with the climate when I actually get to spend extended time there, but I do get urges for Chicago right around this time every year.  Indian Summer they used to call it when we were kids.  I don’t know what people call it now, but I think it’s magic.

I hope you’re enjoying the weather and having a lovely birthday weekend so far.  I will see you later today at your party, old man!


Marc’s Music Vault

September 18, 2008

First in my series of lost songs. Songs that may or may not have had a blip on the radar in the past 40 years, but in my head they’re smash hits. The first in the series is by Mark Eitzel’s American Music Club.


AMC is lead by the grungy yet openly gay Mark Eitzel from San Fran, and had a massive following in the 90’s until they took a break after being dropped from WB later in the decade. Their songs are not for the lighthearted and logically, loved by dirty art majors worldwide. His lyrics are these lovely snapshots of losers, drunks, exes, and various crazy friends from his life. All are tinged with loneliness, anger, and subtle moments of levity.  Yes, if you like Tom Waits, imagine him without the cartoon smokers voice and with a better backing band.

Today’s track is Ex Girlfriend. Simply a tune narrating a run in with a down and out pal that the group seems to have abandoned after a breakup. Not really solving anything for his friend, just pointing out his pain. 

Your ex-girlfriend told me you spent all yesterday crying
Hey i didn’t know things were going so bad for you
Maybe you’re just trying to get her to come back to you
Or work your way out of the cynical attitudes
That protect you

Enjoy. I’d love to hear what you think.

The Big Gay Wedding

September 16, 2008
While I know 3 other couples of the same sex who are married, this was my first gay wedding.
boys at the alter

boys at the alter


My friends Tony and Kelly were wed this weekend by a minister on the DL and the Mayor of Saugatuck in an outdoor/tent wedding. These boys met at a Starbucks just 3 months after Brad and I met so we’ve really watched them grow with us. So it was very moving to see them get what they’ve always dreamed of.

Unlike myself (stern German with no yearning for babies or weddings), they’ve always wanted the dream wedding, and they got it, minus the 12″ of rain. They went all out with a super sized tent, campgrounds, live band with stage and soundsystem, swanky catering and over 100 guests from around the country.

The boys wrote their own vows following 2 of the party telling wonderfully moving stories about them. They kept it short and sweet with only two moments of losing it. After the ceremony, I DJed the cocktail hour with a mix of oldies and bossa nova/electronica. Then, the drama kicked in. Tony wanted a funk band. Not a small order in SW Michigan, but they got a great one. Only downside is the keyboard player decided to take a super size hit of smack 2 hours before the wedding and basically went all coma in the cabin. After no luck reviving him and with threats from Tony (who is Spanish and from Queens, so don’t mess with him!), they got a replacement keyboardist who turned it out! Dancing ensued, keyboardist were fired!

Big shout out to Drew, who was my stand in date since Brad had to work, and my friend Deb who drove with me.  I’ve known both about 8 years, when we all (including Tony) worked for Borders. Only Drew remains. Drew and I stayed at Chateau de Mike and Steve, good friends of mine who we took a trip with to Montreal last year. They were the best hosts and have a gorgeous summer home in Douglas. Big kiss to them for putting up with us.

me, drew, and deb...none drunk enough

me, drew, and deb...none drunk enough

Overall, it was a great experience and Tony even managed to crank out a brunch just 12 hours after the reception! I highly encourage anyone who is invited to attend a same sex ceremony. Because we have to fight for it, there’s so much more passion and tears than your traditional hetero one. Go get a gay friend or 2 today if you don’t have one.

Jamie, sorry to disappoint you, but if  you want to see Brad and I get hitched, you’ll have to through us a surprise wedding.

Listen, rinse and repeat. repeat. repeat.

September 14, 2008


One of the greatest days of my life was in 1992.  My dad bought me a new stereo system.  It wasn’t my first CD player, but it was the first one I had with a repeat button.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  I abused that button so much that it was the first thing to break on the stereo more than 8 years later.  In recent years, I haven’t gotten much use out of the repeat function.  I think I just grew up.  I guess I started to understand the beauty of a well distributed playlist.  Oh, sure, occasionally a song will come along that I’ll have to play multiple times in a row for old time’s sake, but nothing extended past 2 or 3 plays.  Until now. 

I think I’m in hot sweaty lust love.

I have the last Kings of Leon album.  I really liked it.  I listened religiously for about a month until I was distracted by something new, which is a high mark for me.  I knew that another album was in the pipeline for this fall, but it wasn’t really on my radar yet. And then I heard this:

Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire 

Whoa.  Holy Crap, Whoa.  This is how I feel every time I listen (on repeat, of course).  I can’t decide what part I like more.  Is it the bass line?  The vocals?  The lyrics?  Is it the fact that the song makes me feel giddy and REALLY dirty all at the same time?  It’s like sex for your ears!  Clearly I’m not a music critic, but there is something about this track. 

You and I usually agree on these things.  What do you think? 

Playcount of 38 and counting,




* I must admit, I didn’t come by this song naturally.  I wish I could take credit, but I learned about it through Heather Armstrong at Dooce.  She tweeted about Sex on Fire so many times that I had to stop and listen. Thank you Dooce.